When I have a brand new hairdo, with my eyelashes all in curl, I float as the clouds on air do, I enjoy being a girl!

What follows is an actual diary I wrote when I was ten years old. I don't think I could be this funny now if I tried.

3/23
Today I broke up with Cody. Why you ask? Because he's a four-timer, that's why. Got to go. Bye.

3/27
Today I got into a big fight with Jennifer. She told Keith I wanted to marry him because I told Mrs. Cobb our teacher that she locked all the bathroom doors and no one could get in. And she did. And she always teases me. I'm never going to be her friend again. Now Jessica and Kelli are my best friends. I sat by them at lunch today. They said I could whenever I want. They are really good friends.

3/29
Sorry I haven't wrote for a while. I'm still not Jennifer's friend. Our teacher said I could sit by Kelli and Jessica from now on because we don't talk. Today is Tuesday so we had p.e. My favorite. I also had dance class 4:00 to 5:00. On Mondays I got to ballet and tap. Well got to go. Maybe tomorrow I can make up with Jennifer. NOT!

3/31
Tomorrow's April Fools Day and Mrs. Cobb's birthday. I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve. I got our teacher a book and a card. She's going to be surprised! There's this boy in my class named Josh. He's got Josh germs. And no one likes him. And in the other 4th grade class there's a girl named Amber. She's got Amber germs.

4/1
I like Jennifer. April Fools!

4/2
Hi! It's me. Today we had early out at 1:30. I watched TGIF. Jennifer said my mom and dad spoil me. They do. But it's none of her business. She's jealous because her grandma doesn't like her. No one likes her. Except her boyfriend Brandon. And he pretends he likes her. When we were friends I memorized her phone number. But now I can't get it out of my mind. I don't know what to do. But I do know I don't like Jennifer. HELP!

4/5
Jennifer is such a baby. She fixes her hair like Shirley Temple every Monday. And when she doesn't her grandma fixes it. She talks like Mrs. Piggy and likes stupid shows like Flipper and Lassie. She's a dog and laughs like a pig. No wonder no one likes her!

4/6
It was the usual day with coody girl. I had to sit with her at lunch. She said I talked like Minnie Mouse. I told her she was a baby. She told me my room is a mess (it's not.) I told her that her house is teeni tiny. But about a half hour ago I wrote her a note saying I was sorry and wanted to be her friend. But not her best friend. I'm so excited I made the A honor roll!

4/8
Jessica and Kelli are really great. Not at all like Jennifer. They are really caring. If you look sad or something they ask you if you're feeling well. And if you're down they always try to cheer you up. A boy in class likes me. But I don't want to go out with him because it will ruin my reputation. He really thinks I'm pretty. But I don't know if that's the only reason he likes me. I'm not a dumb bimbo. If that's the only reason he likes me there's no way I'll say yes!

4/9
No school! Conference is today. I got all As. We went out to eat with grandma and grandpa and then we went to the Easter play. Some of it was scary, some was happy, and some was really really sad. How could they do that to Jesus, the son of God? One of the greatest people on earth. Jesus is the one who loves us. God loves us too. They love us very much. And I love them more than any one in the world. And he's the best! Ps. I've got a secret.

4/10
My secret is that we didn't go to the Easter play. It was packed and we couldn't even have a parking place. We went to the movies instead. We saw Forever Young. It was really good but not as good as the Easter play would be. All well I've seen it a lot. And tomorrow is Easter Sunday. We always get a lot of candy from the parent rabbits!

4/19
I've got lots of lots of friends. But my two best friends were absent. So I played with Janna at recess. Janna acts like a cat. But it isn't funny because she was born like that. Jana said she made out with a cat. That's one reason I don't like her. I don't hate her. I don't hate anyone except Satan.

4/22
Jennifer's my best friend!

4/29
As I was saying, Jennifer is my best friend. I decided to forgive her We do everything together.

5/6
I'm in love! Who is he? A babe with blonde hair named Jeff. Everyone knows he likes me but he is too shy to ask me out! To be continued.

5/11
He tickels me at recess and he sits by me whenever he can. He's a babe. But how do I tell him?

And so ends the month long chronicle of my fourth grade year. I can't believe I was so horribly mean!! I do remember that cat girl, she was pretty freaky. As for Jennifer, she moved at the end of the year and I was very sad. I kinda remember that Jeff guy, but I don't think we ever "went out" Oh oh, oh, maybe I will find all their pictures in the year book and post them. Assuming I can figure out how...

Christina